HALF an hour into this ludicrous game of football, Rasmus Hojlund was haring through on goal, looking to complete a hat-trick and propel Manchester United into a 3-0 lead.
Yet there is one thing we know for certain about Erik ten Hag’s team – they never, ever do things the easy way.
Man Utd twice threw away a lead to leave their Champions League hopes in tatters
Hojlund scored a second
Hojlund kisses the United badge after grabbing his second
You honestly couldn’t make this stuff up.
Some hope – here we had two Copenhagen comebacks, two dodgy penalties, one sending-off, one pro-Palestinian pitch invader and one lengthy delay for a medical emergency.
And at the end of all the bedlam, United were bottom of this Champions League group, staring elimination in the face and knowing they must defeat either Galatasaray in Istanbul or Harry Kane’s rampant Bayern Munich to stand any chance of making the knock-out stage.
The Danish fans had promised ‘Welcome to the Theatre of Nightmares’ in a giant banner unfurled before kick-off.
And in a nation where Hans Christian Andersen used to write tall tales, few could have been as fanciful as this one.
Rasmus Hojlund opened the scoring for United
The striker celebrates with his team-mates
It started with Ten Hag restored Rashford to his starting line-up after an ‘unacceptable’ birthday party and a ‘minor knock’.
And before the sulphur clouds from the pre-match pyros had dispersed, United were in front thanks to a sweeping move the length and breadth of the field.
Bruno Fernandes played a Hollywood cross-field ball to Rashford, who fed Aaron Wan-Bissaka and the full-back played a cut angled pass for Scott McTominay to centre low for Hojlund to tuck home.
Soon, the match was twice delayed – first by a pitch invader with a Palestinian flag, who was bundled away by stewards.
And then a fan close to the halfway line was treated by paramedics before being carried away on a stretcher, apparently conscious and ‘well in the circumstances’.
During that stoppage, an injured Jonny Evans was replaced by Raphael Varane.
The second goal came courtesy of a unbelievable error from Copenhagen centre-half Denis Vavro allowing Fernandes to release Alejandro Garnacho, who cut in and drilled a shot which Kamil Grabara spilled, leaving Hojlund to gobble up the chance.
The Danish center-forward for United could have scored his third goal in less than a minute, but Grabara brilliantly blocked his hard left-footed effort.
This appeared to be a unique and genuine Manchester United performance, but minutes later Rashford’s red card confirmed that nothing can ever go right for Ten Hag’s team.
.
.
Marcus Rashford was shown red
Mohamed Elyounoussi pulled one back
The game was back on
Rashford was turning, trying to shield the ball from Elias Jelert when he appeared to tread on his opponent’s ankle and also make contact with his elbow.
Lithuanian referee Donastas Rumsas was sent over to his monitor by his Polish VAR and an incredulous Rashford was walking.
Copenhagen were instantly lifted and swiftly halved the deficit.
Peter Ankersen centred, Diogo Goncalves volleyed a pass to former Southampton man Mohamed Elyanoussi, who fired past Andre Onana.
Diogo Goncalves levelled the game
Copenhagen were back on level terms
Ten Hag sent on Sofyan Amrabat for Christian Eriksen and United’s luck changed midway through the second half.
A free-kick was pumped into the box and Maguire headed into the out-stretched arm of Lukas Lerager.
The VAR pulled play back, Rumsas awarded the spot-kick and Fernandes drilled into the roof of the net.
Bruno Fernandes put United back in front
Fernandes led the celebrations
But just as we readied ourselves to praise United’s resilience, Lerager made amends by beating a dozing Diogo Dalot to Rasmus Falk’s far-post cross and poking past Onana.
Then it got even worse for the visitors as Bardghji hammered a shot into the floor and inside the post.
There was something rotten in the state of Denmark and it was United’s defending.
Lukas Lerager put the game level again
Copenhagen turned the tie around again
Roony Bardghji scored a stunning winner
The late sub wheels off in jubilation
Harry Maguire was left head in hands
